Nerdy Boys - Candypants

He goes 40 on the freeway

He plans his day 'round eBay

He’d rather watch Discovery Channel than an instant replay

Steve Jobs is his swami

He folds like origami

I want to bite his pencil neck and make him cry for mommy

Just four little eyes and I’m weak in the knees

I want to live his junior high fantasies

Just one giant brain and I’m his unopened toy

I’m just a sucker for a nerdy boy

He thinks DNA is pretty

CGI makes him giddy

He’ll only listen to the mono version of Surf City

He smells like Hai Karate

Says Mulder wasn’t dotty

I want to rip the clothes right off his ectomorphic body

Just four little eyes and I’m weak in the knees

I want to live his junior high fantasies

Just one giant brain and I’m his unopened toy

I’m just a sucker for a nerdy boy

His high water pants

The way he can’t dance

If he wants romance

I say beam me up

You’re suave and attaching

Your socks are always matching

If you want me, better hope myopia is catching

'Cause I don’t want an athlete

I tingle for a mathlete

He can count on me to give his head the loving that it needs

Just four little eyes and I’m weak in the knees

I want to live his junior high fantasies

Just one giant brain I’m his collectable toy

I am a sucker for a nerdy boy

For a nerdy boy

I want a nerdy boy

A dirty nerdy boy

(spoken)

Why don’t you take off those tighty-whities?

No, I don’t think your butt looks pasty

It reminds me of the sands of Tattooine

These sheets are very unusual -- is any part of you bionic?

Ooh!

Oh!

(pant)

(pant)

(pant)

(pant)

(cough)

(cough)

I think I need to borrow your inhaler!