(It's) Hairspray - James Marsden

CORNY

And now, live, from the certified up-to-code Baltimore Eventorium…

…for the first time ever on nationwide television…

It’s The Corny Collins Spectacular…

COUNCIL GIRLS

He’s Corny!

CORNY

…brought to you by Ultra Clutch Hairspray!

CORNY (& ENSEMBLE)

What gives a girl

Power and punch?

Is it charm, is it poise?

No, it’s hairspray!

What gets a gal

Asked out to lunch

Is it brains, is it dough?

No, it’s hairspray!

If you take a ride

With no can at your side

Then your flip will be gone

With the wind

But if you spray it and lock it

You can take off in a rocket

And in outer space

Each hair will be in place

Why take a chance

When you get up and dance

If you twist, I insist

You use hairspray

And tell your mother

Her head she should smother

With «ultra-clutch» faithfully

So if you’re a redhead

A blonde or brunette

Just take my advice

And you might just get

The only thing better than hairspray

CORNY

That’s me!

ENSEMBLE

Ska-doo-dle-e-ya

Doo-dle-e-ya do wah

CORNY

Forget the milkman

The only thing better than hairspray

ENSEMBLE

Hairspray! Wow!

CORNY

That’s me!

CORNY & ENSEMBLE

What makes a man

Reach out and touch?

Ultra clutch!

CORNY & ENSEMBLE

So if you’re a redhead

A blonde or brunette

Just take my advice

And you might just get

CORNY

The only thing better than hairspray

That’s me!

ENSEMBLE

Ska-doo-dle-e-ya

Doo-dle-e-ya do wah

COUNCIL GIRLS

He’s Corny Collins!

CORNY

The only thing better than hairspray

ENSEMBLE

Hairspray! Wow!

CORNY

That’s me!

ENSEMBLE

Ska-doo-dle-e-ya do wah

Ska-doo-dle-e-ya do wah!

Do wow!

CORNY

«Hey, baby, you look like you could use a stiff one!»

BRENDA

Ska-doo-dle-e-ya-do do wah!!!