cordova - No Better

Your mother calls me into your bedroom

I walk in to find her kneeling by the dresser drawer

An empty glass of wine to her left

Your framed obituary card lying on the floor

Catholic hymns play soft on the TV

She starts removing your old clothing

Your old shirts, class sweater, and your practice jersey

She waves me over and hands them to me

I smell the scents of your living body

I almost feel your essence

I hold your clothing tight in my hand

And think of you chasing loose balls with your friends

Sydney’s in town for the weekend

We smoke her cigarettes

And listen to The Cars on cassette

And I wish you were here

You had so much life to live still

Your shirts hang in my closet

Unwashed always and still unworn

Your old shirts hang in my closet

I only took them cause your mother implored

See them and think of us as children

Passing days in our youthful stride

A world of open windows

Watching Lakers games when you’d spend the night

I wanna be the kind of person people miss

Learn to love those around me the way you did

I wanna see past all my stupid problems

Learn to see the world outside myself

I know who you are

I know who you were

And I guess that that’s enough

I know you are

Yeah, I know who you were

And I swear the I’ll keep that with me