Five Star Motels - Rick Moranis

I was datin' some girl from Dayton

When I got a little noisy with someone else from Boise

I did some yoga in Saratoga

Wound up with lumbago from San Diego

It got a little clammy one night in Miami

Made me wish again to be back in Michigan

Got too cute that time in Butte

Finally hit my quota in Sarasota

I wanna stop all this frequent flying

Stay clear of those friendly skies

Too tired of all this trying

I need a map to keep track of my lies

No more rental cars

And mini-bars

Macadamia jars

And five-star motels

Had a folly one night in Raleigh

Man it was scenic, on down in Phoenix

I went bonkers in Yonkers

But it was costin' too much in Boston

I wanna shredder this rail pass

Gotta get back on the right side of the track

I wanna switch directions fast

It’s just easier to stick to the facts

No more don’t tells

And won’t tells

I’m done with

These five-star motels

I’m gonna pull the wheels off of this wheel estate

Park it on a pretty piece of land

Find a hometown girl that I can show the world

And tell the boys that I’m leaving the band

I kept a stash

Of petty cash

For a wedding bash

At the finest hotel

We were playin' some bars one night on Mars

When a gal from Pluto lookin' for a little judo

I started to swoon, orbiting her moon

If I lived on Jupiter, I couldn’t have been stupider

I can’t blame you for what you see

You are light years ahead of me

I messed around with re-entry

We’re just not from the same galaxy

It’s just the way I am

Sorry ma’am

But I’ll be damned to

Five-star…

I won’t tell

If you don’t tell

It’s just as well

In five-star…

There’s no hope

It’s the way I cope

I stole the soap

From the five-star motel