Oh So Bucco - Rick Moranis

I’m wearing fifty ex-chinchillas

And a gator each per boot

Hog-tied around my waste-line

Suede trimming on my suit

Got a bear-skin rug and leather couch

And antlers on the walls

Goose-neck lamps and decoys make

Impeccable duck calls

Had a mixed grill fry for breakfast

Pair of mutton chops for lunch

Rare sirloin tips for supper

George Foreman’d by the bunch

A nightcap chaw of jerky

And a cup of ox tail soup

A swig of wild turkey

Makes a happier coop

And I say Oh so bucco

What the heck’s the big old deal

Was I away the day that someone said

A monkee invented the wheel?

My after-shave's been tested

On a thousand stubbled rats

My hearing aid’s derived from tech

Discovered from trained bats

My Lipitor cured countless chimps

Before it could save me

No that ain’t me tap dancin'

Those are new titanium knees

And I say Oh so Bucco

What the hell’s the big kaboo

For some of us to have a fine old time

We’ve got to sacrifice a few

I didn’t see the Prius turn

I honked the Hummer’s horn

The moose, the rack, the rods and guns

The whole front end was shorn

They flew me to Bethesda

Choppered me in DOA

Left behind the liver

Rushed my kidneys to L. A

My hair wound up in transplant

My lips were wrapped and sealed

Tongue tied up in customs

My skin was dried and pealed

Corneas went Fedex

Eardrums next day ground

Took whatever’s workin'

Left the rest in lost and found

Now I am Oh so Bucco

Eventually you crash and burn

To everything there’s open season

I guess it was this monkee’s turn